Who says you can never go home again
by zenith unity
Summary: Recovering ghoul meets up with some old friends... [This is my first attempt at a fan fiction story please r&R, Chapter 2 up rated for violence and language better safe than sorry]
1. Default Chapter

I woke up or rather things became less jumbled and hazy and I could sort of focus my eyes from my little spot on the floor. I'd been out a while that I was sure of. There was a gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach begging for food and a slightly nauseating feeling telling me I'd been swallowing some of my own blood for a while, it's pretty sick when you realize you're digesting more blood then you're losing. I felt the cold dampness of the cement floor penetrating my cheek but I wasn't about to move. I knew by the tingling in some of my limbs that I'd probably broken every god damned bone in my body when I fell. Fell? Well yeah you tended to do that when your tired body was pushed down a flight of stone stairs. I took a mental inventory of my injuries while I lay there with not much else to do. I figured my left leg was broken in a few spots including at my thigh, I swore I could feel part of my femur scraping the inside of the skin over it as nerves made it twitch and throb. My right leg didn't seem to be broken but my ankle was most definitely shattered now if it hadn't been upstairs when that asshole went all fucking "Untouchables" on me with a Louisville. Yeah it was coming back now a little, the shit before my little trip down the basement stairs. I couldn't feel my toes at all on my right foot and an attempt to move one was rewarded with a shot of pain like razor blades in my bloodstream, enough to make me see stars for a second. I knew my back wasn't broken because I could distinctly feel the climate of my surroundings through the sock on my left foot, I guessed I must have lost my shoe on the way down here. I didn't even want to venture to move my head and look around for it, it wasn't like I was getting up to retrieve it anytime soon. I spit some blood trickling down the back of my throat on to the floor in front of me and groaned before I could stop myself. I must have cracked every god damned rib too. I tried at this point to find something else to do to bide my time, it seemed that if I didn't think about how broken I was at the bottom of the concrete steps then my injuries didn't become self aware and start sending blazing hot signals to my brain alerting it of their presence. It was too late though, I found myself stuck with an uncontrollable itch in my left arm. I very slowly moved my head to look down at the bones of my forearm sticking through the skin there. Normally I wasn't all that squeamish but I could feel the coppery taste of the blood I swallowed mixed with bitter bile bubbling up my esophagus, so I closed my eyes and took a few shallow breaths forgoing the whole exercise of trying to take a deep one with the potential of ribs jabbing dangerously into my lungs. I wondered how long I'd actually been unconscious and how long they intended to leave me down there as I listened to some generator vibrate the cellar floor with a distant soft humming. It was actually pretty soothing if I let it be.   
  
Bright light from the space just outside my little basement intruded into my sanctum. Well fuck I was just about to get all meditative and transcend my pain. Even with my eyes closed the warm white light blinded me, was it possible to break your eye sockets? If so, I had. I listened to the footfalls on the stone giving me a lesson on how to properly descend steps and tried to stay as still and calm as I could as if I was still unconscious. I prayed whoever it was, was going to have the common sense not to move the injured person, I didn't think I could continue my ruse of being asleep if someone moved or so much as touched me. My inner voice was telling me to open my eyes and look at whichever bastard it was and bark some scathing quip about him or his mother or his dog at him. Luckily for once my better sensitivities had control of my tongue and I remained as motionless and placid on the floor as before. I heard something drop next to my face it sounded like metal, the distinct sloshing sound that followed told my it was a cup of something. Something? No, I knew what the fuck it was and like hell I was drinking it. I could careless that every single ache and pain would go away instantaneously, I'd worked to hard over the past 2 months to just give in the first opportunity that arose. But it wasn't the first opportunity, Chelsea was trying to be helpful that one night when I was pacing the house like a junkie scratching myself raw to keep my mind on something else. I flipped out when she offered. I felt bad later of course, after I broke down and let her fix me up, but that was the blood talking and it set me back 3 more weeks at least. I stopped seeing her after that. That I did feel bad about on my own though. She just wanted to help me, she never did have the stomach to watch anyone suffer, no less someone she cared about. It seemed so long ago now, all of it. I wondered what happened to her. I just couldn't remember for the life of me anything beyond what I already had, the bat, the steps, there were some other flashes nothing I could really hold on to though. I became aware during my little trip into nostalgia land that my friend was still standing over me and had said something to someone else that had come down the steps apparently. I wish I'd been listening. Now he was apparently talking to me, telling me to wake up, "gently" nudging me in the sternum with the toe of his shoe. A bright flash of stars clouded my eyelids as I tried desperately to "stay asleep". "Get up you fucking clot" and then came another love tap from the guy's boot, I was yowling before I could stop myself. "Aw did I wake you? But I brought you breakfast" he said with a hearty laugh. I was on my back now and the overwhelming sensation of every throbbing broken bone strangled whatever smart ass comeback I had prepared for the occasion. I took another shallow breath and choked back the urge to vomit again, with a pathetic whimper. My host for the moment peered down at me then crouched to inspect my arm, lifting it off the floor. "This hurt?" the familiar voice asked with something so akin to concern it scared me to think of what the words and tone actually meant to say. Before I could answer he yanked my arm and set the bones back in place. I screamed so loud I thought I'd made myself deaf. Every sob I choked on pounded in my broken ribs before the pain was too much and I passed out again.  
  
I wasn't out this long and this time I woke up to something rich like silk on my lips and tongue, warm and languid pouring into my mouth as I opened it. I snapped my eyes open, my brain cried no as I spit out what was in my mouth. I slumped forward and fell on my side, wiping my lip with the back of my right arm ignoring the searing pain of laying on my left side. I laid on my back again and looked up at the ceiling. "They'll kill you if you don't." That voice like warm honey penetrating my ears. I might have guessed. "I guess I have you to thank for not being dead already huh?" the voice coming out of my throat so hoarse and torn and alien I imagined for a second it wasn't even me talking. "Be reasonable" she said and I nearly laughed. Be reasonable? We passed that 10 exits ago sunshine. All I could muster was a weak cough though.  
  
"You want to help?"I was finally able to groan.  
  
"You know I do"  
  
"Get me something to numb this shit"  
  
"I can't do that, they expect you to be with me when I go back up or..." She stopped short. I hated when she got dramatic with pauses and not finishing sentences. I'd known Chelsea basically my whole life and she always had this penchant for drama. She'd have made one hell of a movie star. I knew if I looked over she'd be crying, which in and of itself would freak me out. I felt my resolve waver some. "Who's is it?"   
  
"Drill's"  
  
"You're kidding me"  
  
"No" her tone was eerily cold, I knew she'd been turned down for the job at that point.  
  
"He's psychotic"  
  
I used my right arm to prop myself up as best I could. I looked over at her, she'd moved to sulk on the steps, looking down her little boots cheeks streaked red. "Heh, couldn't they have just handed me over to some new blood? Seriously, that guys not right...come on Chels you honestly didn't expect them to choose you did you? There'd be no sick lesson in it." I sighed realizing my cigarettes were with my jacket which was..somewhere not with me, things were still a bit hazy. She looked even more despondent at that and had that look she gets when she's trying to formulate some scheme. I shook my head, "They'll see it coming a mile away... do you have your smokes on you?" She still smoked even though it did nothing for her anymore, it sort of made me laugh sometimes to think some habits never die. She got up and brought me one lighting it before curling up next to me. I wanted to hug her but even holding the cigarette was a chore. "It'll be ok." I said more to convince myself than her. The fact was I was scared, some fresh kill you could manipulate a little get away with shit because they didn't know better. Drill on the other hand was a seasoned veteran. I'd born witness to him breaking in one of his "pets" before, it made my trip down the stairs look like a vacation. "I'll start using again or something... you know to sort of dull whatever he has in store."She just stared blankly at me with those lost puppy dog eyes "I wish you wouldn't". I didn't answer her plea, instead I took a look at the small metal thermos sitting a few inches away. "I'll need more than that." I muttered.  
  
It only took a few seconds to feel a little better, I laid down on the cold damp slab of a floor and shut my eyes concentrating on the task ahead of me. You sort of had to visualize this stuff. I felt that burning in my veins as things mended. Chelsea just stared from her spot on the floor. I was right it wasn't enough to fix everything and burning through the small amount of blood I was given just gave rise to that familiar ache in the pit of my stomach. I grumbled and sat up snatched my cigarette from where it was burning on the floor and looked over her. "Let's go." Without a word she stood up and gingerly helped me with my lost shoe before lifting me tenderly to my feet. At least my arm was set, but my ankle was going to stay fucked up forever now. I hobbled a bit not sure what was still broken and what was just tender. She let me climb the stairs first, even though she was technically my superior in the hierarchy of this twisted society we both belonged to I would always be her older sister. 


	2. Chapter 2

I counted the hours until the house would go to sleep and I could curl up on one of the ratty old couches lying stinking and rotting in odd places around the house. Jack, the one that set my arm, assured me there were no hard feelings, whatever that meant and this chick that called herself Sin got right down to giving me a long list of errands she needed to have run once the sun came up until it was announced that I wasn't leaving the house for a few days, shit I could have told her that, it's standard operating procedure especially under these circumstances. I shook my head and limped over to the bathroom and opened the closet in search of anything I could use to wrap my right foot up in, there was always a fair amount of bandages and the like kept around just in case, you needed that in our "line of work". Heavy footfalls came down the hallway, probably one of my "friends" coming to gloat or generally annoy the shit out of me. I steeled myself, reminding myself that I really didn't want to start any bullshit right now, and sat on the edge of the filthy tub sliding my shoe off with a wince, followed by my sock.. I pretended not to notice the ominous shadow falling over me as I wrapped the ace around my foot and ankle. I replaced the sock and the shoe doing my best to be stony faced, stood up and turned to face my company. He was bigger than me but that's not saying much, I was a pretty average sized chick. I knew this guy as one of Drill's little monkeys who'd been in this game even longer than I had, I couldn't for the life of me remember his name though. I knew I was out of my league with this one, but regardless, I wasn't about to roll over and play nice until I had to. "Something I can help you with?" I said placing a hand casually on the broken counter next to the sink trying to hide the fact that I really needed it for support at that moment.  
  
"Boss wants to see you before he's gotta go down. Sent me to retrieve you"  
  
"Fine I'll be there in a second."   
  
"No. I reckon that won't do as he said now. Said if you gave me lip already..." I didn't let him finish his macho bullshit diatribe, which I could tell pissed him off royally "Fine, fine, for fucks sake." I motioned for him to lead the way and gingerly put my weight down on my foot again.  
  
"The Boss" was outside showing some kid how to shoot. I couldn't tell if the kid was more afraid of Drill or the shotgun in his hand, he seemed to jump and almost shit himself each he squeezed the trigger, while his oaf of an instructor lumbered over him barking insults. It was touching to say the least. The kid skittishly watched us approach, diverting the attention of his teacher. "Oh you two" his voice sounded just as you would expect it to from the look of him as if he smoked 4 packs a day when he still breathed and gargled with sand nightly. "I half expected to be getting you in pieces really" the disappointment in his voice was not terribly welcoming but I tried my best to play it off with a roll of my eyes as I slipped a hand into the pocket of my jeans. "Can We get this over with?" I asked not quite sure what "this" was but no time like the present and the sooner he got his kicks in the sooner he'd toss me some more blood. Jesus was I really back to all this? I shook my head at my internal monologue without realizing it.  
  
"Yeah, yeah we can"   
  
I don't know what I had expected to happen, but before I had registered that he'd grabbed the gun from his cowering apprentice, I felt the burning hole in my knee and was well on my way to the ground when the butt of the shotgun clipped my chin. The ensuing boot party was a blast, even the new kid got in on some of the action. It times like those when you have no other choice than to just sit and take it, you go somewhere else in your head. I was convinced I was back sitting on the hood of my old piece of crap mustang, smoking a joint and solving the problems of the universe with my best friend. Funny how having a guy who's gotta weigh no less than 250 kneeling on your chest and force feeding you blood will snap you out of just about anything. The newbie had to drag me back to the house before he was allowed to turn in, beats walking but he could have at least set me on a couch.   
  
I laid on the floor a while listening to the rustling of rats and roaches and god knows what else skittering though the refuge littering the place, letting my body use that magical infusion to heal the gaping hole in my knee and the rest of the new and otherwise recent injuries and going over the previous day's events in my head. What did I expect to happen? I knew I was taking a chance coming here, in fact I counted on this, so why did I come? And after all of it then what did I expect a "Welcome Home" hug and maybe a cake? I remembered in the old days seething when someone would take off, cursing to Jer about how could someone just up and abandon their family. He was always infinitely fucking patient with that shit. There was life outside this rotting shit hole, it's not for everyone, he'd say with some apathetic shrug. Funny, how quickly I sought a taste of that after everything hit the fan. I sat up as the first rays of dawn bled though the crack under the door, I made my way to it and stepped outside Someone had left a full pack of Camels on the railing which I quickly lifted lighting one with matches I'd found in my jeans' pocket. I thought to myself, watching the colors brighten the sky how much shit you take for granted before walking back inside and claiming a couch to sleep on, lying down and looking up at the ceiling I was trying to ignore the residual aches and pains. Tonight, I thought to myself, if someone tries to cop a feel again they're losing an appendage.  
  
I really didn't sleep much, too juiced I guess. I walked around upstairs where a lot of the group slept. I thought about doing just this same thing not so long ago, but it did seem like forever ago. I passed my old room and tested the door for shit and giggles. Locked. Figures, again what did I expect. I glanced my fingers over the frame haunted by one of those cheesy melancholy memories, you know the type, where if it were a movie some sappy song about lost love would be playing in the background and you'd be left with the faint desire to retch when it was over. "Fuck it" I turned to go back downstairs and found "what's his face" leering at me with a smug smile. "Fuck you" I muttered I might as well get it in now before I was too busy kissing Drill's ass to care. He chuckled and it sounded like a hyena laughing, "Maybe later" he quipped and walked into what I guess was his room, it was such a simple banter but it unsettled me. I shivered and checked Chelsea's door to make sure it was secured before going back downstairs. The kitchen was just as dirty as the rest of the place, at least the fridge still worked even though it was fairly empty. I grabbed a few scraps of pizza that had been sitting in there for how ever long and found my way back to the couch. It's amazing what you will eat when you're literally starving. I propped my feet up on the arm of the couch and stared at the cracks in the ceiling. I wondered slightly when the precise moment was that everything went so fucking wrong. I was about to drift off to sleep when the floor creaked and the paranoia in me made me sit bolt upright looking around. I came to the conclusion I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon and decided to raid the "medicine cabinet".   
  
They always kept a sizable stash of all kinds of shit around, it was fast money in a pinch and at the least a cheap thrill every once in a while. I found a few rocks of meth and decided it would at least help to keep me awake in case Casanova decided "Maybe later" meant "Yes now". I procured a light bulb and eventually found my jacket in one of the front rooms. As I rifled through the pockets for my lighter, a dark stain on the carpet caught my attention. That was my stain, I felt my stomach drop and I retreated from the room, it was better left forgotten. Jesus, I really was getting pretty damned squeamish lately. I sat out on the front steps and lit up my crystal, getting high was always such an easy alternative, at least it gave me something to pass the time until everyone was up again and the reindoctrination could continue. I kind of hoped my past performance would help get me a break but I also knew I was kidding myself if I really believed all that. It occurred to me to just get up and walk away, but I couldn't do that to Chels, not only would she bear the brunt of the ensuing rage because of our kinship but she really seemed a lot more at ease having me back there even though she'd never said a word about it in all the times she'd seen me when I was gone. And I was always fiercely protective of her even though she didn't need it especially not anymore.  
  
I sat on the step for a long while, bored out of my mind. There wasn't much to do where we'd set up shop out in one of the ruined rural houses miles from the city with a good view of the surrounding areas in case, we should get any uninvited guests. At least in a few days I could go back to the city and blow off some steam if I was so inclined, and I was for damn sure. I walked around the grounds, nothing had changed, everything was basically just as I'd left it down to the bullet ridden fence post used to practice sharpshooting. The sky took on a pink hue and I made my way back inside, taking up residence on the couch and listening to the quiet. The first sounds of people rising echoed through the halls. The first few times you experienced that it was unnerving how a house that seemed quiet and empty was suddenly filled all at once with the sounds of activity. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to enjoy the last few moments of my solitude, just a few more days and things will start to get back to normal I assured myself. 


End file.
